The Forgotten Skill: Teaching Children to Ask Better Questions

In today’s fast paced world, it is easy to focus on the answers our children give whether at school, at home or during after school tutoring. But something just as important often goes unnoticed: the questions they ask.

At NumberWorks’nWords we see every day how powerful it can be when children are encouraged to ask questions during their one on one lessons. In fact, we have found that the quality of a child’s questions often reveals more about their learning progress than the answers they provide. Supporting children to learn how to ask better questions can spark their curiosity, build confidence and help them become independent, motivated learners.

Why Questions Matter More Than You Think

As adults, we often get into the habit of quickly answering our children’s questions so we can get on with our day. However, every question a child asks offers insight into how they are thinking, what they are curious about, or what they might not yet understand.

Learning to ask better questions is a valuable skill that helps children become more engaged and thoughtful. When children ask questions such as “Why does that happen?” or “What would happen if…?”, they are thinking critically and trying to make sense of the world around them.

For instance, a child working on a maths problem might simply say, “I don’t get it.” While that is a starting point, imagine if they were encouraged to ask, “Is there another way to solve this?” or “What is the first step I should take here?” Suddenly, they are taking ownership of their learning.

Encouraging Curiosity at Home

One of the most effective ways parents can help their children ask better questions is by simply making space for curiosity. Children are naturally curious, but they need to feel safe and encouraged to express that curiosity without worrying about being wrong or annoying.

Try setting aside regular moments during the day where questions are welcomed. For example, at dinner, ask your child what they wondered about that day. You might say, “What’s something interesting you heard today that made you think?” or “Did anything surprise you at school?” These open-ended prompts encourage children to practise forming questions and exploring ideas.

Even watching a movie together can become a chance to learn. Ask, “What do you think will happen next?” or “Why do you think that character did that?” These simple, everyday conversations help build a foundation for stronger questioning skills.

Creating a Question-Friendly Environment

Children learn by example, so how we respond to their questions is very important. When a child asks something that seems obvious or inconvenient at the moment, it can be tempting to dismiss it. However, doing this too often can send the message that their questions are not valued.

Instead, try responding with genuine interest, even if you don’t know the answer. You might say, “That’s a great question. I’m not sure, but let’s find out together.” This shows children that asking questions is less about having the right answer and more about being curious and eager to learn.

At NumberWorks’nWords, we encourage open discussions between students and tutors because we know that great learning often begins with a great question. When children feel their thoughts and questions are respected, they become more confident to speak up and engage fully with their learning.

When Children Struggle with Questions

Some children hesitate to ask questions because they worry about being wrong or looking silly. If your child seems uncertain, it’s important to create an environment where making mistakes is seen as a natural part of learning.

You might say things like, “All questions help us learn, even if we don’t have the answer straight away,” or “It takes courage to ask when you’re not sure.” Offering reassurance like this can really help children build the confidence to keep asking and trying.

A Real-Life Example: Emma and Her Maths Questions

Emma, a Year 6 student at NumberWorks’nWords, used to freeze when faced with a challenging maths problem. Rather than asking for help, she would become quiet or guess an answer. Her tutor noticed this and gently encouraged her to ask more specific questions. Over time, Emma began to say things like, “Can you explain how to break this problem down?” or “Why do we carry the one here?”

These questions helped her gain a clearer understanding and gave her the tools to solve problems independently later on. As a result, her confidence grew, and she started to enjoy her lessons more.

Building Skills Beyond the Classroom

Learning to ask better questions does not just help with schoolwork. It also prepares children for life beyond the classroom. Whether they are trying to understand a friend’s feelings, solve a problem in a game, or make a decision about how to spend their pocket money, the ability to ask thoughtful questions helps them make better choices and connect more deeply with the world around them. For example, a child might ask, “Why is my friend upset?” or “What can I do differently next time?” These kinds of questions help build empathy, problem solving skills, and emotional intelligence, qualities that are just as important as academic success.

Conclusion

As parents, it’s easy to focus on helping our children find the right answers, especially when they are finding something difficult. But sometimes, the best thing we can do is take a step back and encourage them to ask better questions.

By doing this, we are not just helping them learn facts or pass exams. We are helping them think more deeply, build confidence, and discover how to learn independently. Whether at home or during a one on one lesson at NumberWorks’nWords, every great question brings them closer to becoming curious, capable learners.

Like any skill, learning to ask better questions requires time and practice. The more children are encouraged to be curious and reflect on their thinking, the more natural it will become. If you want to support your child further, book a free, no obligation learning assessment to get started. Our fantastic team of expert tutors is here to help your child grow in confidence and thrive on their learning journey.